am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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