I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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