Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she looked like the before picture.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
