You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
