matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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