There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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