going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
