see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
