woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
