his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Terrible idea I love it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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