the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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