drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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