i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
