dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
