too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
