please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
