We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
