Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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