I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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