There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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