she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
