Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
