I just made out with a guy for $7.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i need some magic done to my vagina
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
