winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
