cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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