I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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