Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
