Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
