Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There's always time for handjobs
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
