Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She's JV to your varsity
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
