so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
