why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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