just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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