I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
