WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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