hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
