More tranny stories later!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
