the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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