Me. At least after what I've been through.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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