What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
