I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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