he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
