He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
