Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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