The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
