It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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