She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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