he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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