when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
