all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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