She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
