**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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