Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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