I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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