i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Randomize
