i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I lost the right to judge tonight
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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