After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
