On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
