This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
