You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
