i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
