did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
