So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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