idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
They have beer where we have blood.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
