So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
