and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
