I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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